Decision paralysis.

You’ll notice that I haven’t been very active on here as of late. And that’s for a number of reasons, beside all the chaos going on in the world right now, my nervous system has been in state of shock, and I’ve had to … adjust. But beyond that, I’ve also been dealing with decision paralysis. For those of you who may not know what this is, here is a quick definition I found somewhere on the Internet:

Decision paralysis, also known as analysis paralysis, occurs when an individual is overwhelmed by choices or overthinks a situation, leading to an inability to make a decision. This can result in inaction and increased anxiety, often affecting one's mental well-being.

Searching for a Needle in a Haystack…

You see, my problem is that I’m looking for something. Perhaps it’s the perfect game for me. I’ve played role playing games for over three decades and while I do have fun, I’m looking for that ultimate comfort device. But compounded with my search is also the lack of ability I have in playing. So, I’ve been searching for something that allows me to play without necessarily needing a group of players. Let’s face it. In 2025, we’re all too busy working to survive and what little free time we do have remaining, at least in my case, is spent recuperating and recharging for next week’s work routine.

So, I’ve taken some time to do some searching, I’ve been on a Quest, you might say! And I’ve got three major criteria for what I’m looking for:

1. Because I’m using a forum as my medium, the system should be geared more for a Narrative experience instead of a Crunchy/mathematical/Roll-Playing experience. I’m using a forum because I want the option to include additional people and because I can role play anywhere I have a few moments available. I’m also fairly comfortable with the concept of Journaling and a forum is an easy go-to.

2. I want a system that isn’t massive with a ton of rules scattered throughout many books. But I also don’t want something so light that there’s no guardrails which can also lead to decision paralysis, and a lack of creative direction. I need character options. Does this make any sense?

3. I want a Roll Under mechanic, only because I struggle with assigning Target Numbers for character challenges. Having a roll under mechanic would relieve some burden from my shoulders—even if it’s only me playing.

4. Okay, I lied. I also want something fairly science-fictiony if possible, or at least genre-neutral.

As a result of my searching, I’ve been expanding my ever-growing library with more systems. Quite a few of them have been bulk purchases, and I’ll skim through them, and set them aside, because they don’t quite scratch that itch. So for a while, I’ve contemplated creating my own role playing system, and that was working well enough, until just a couple hours ago, when I realized that what I was attempting to build couldn’t work. Back to square one.

In the meantime, I did pick up a fabulous supplement for my role playing experience, which I’ll most likely write a much better dedicated article for once I’m finished reading it, and that is the Mythic Game Master Emulator. Briefly, with this masterpiece, I can run any game, and play it all by my lonesome self. Another great thing about the Mythic GME is that it does utilize the Roll Under mechanic so YAY, one check box marked off!

But if I could build the perfect game system for me, I’d have to fuse the following together:

• The freedom and power of customization of Attributes from Big Eyes Small Mouth. Plus, it really lends well to that light-heated anime, whimsical style of play that I’m into.

• The extensive options of Qualities from ShadowRun 4e (and expansion books), with the Advantages & Disadvantages of GURPS. (I said that I really enjoy options, didn’t I?

• Having just learned of the combat system of Delta Green, I love how quick combat resolves in it. Also it’s a roll-under mechanic as well—if I’m not mistaken.

• The non-lethality of Teenagers from Outer Space.

• And I’m still looking for a Sci-fi/Space Opera/Cyberpunk/Futuristic setting to play within. I could achieve that with GURPS, but there’s probably other games like Stars Without Numbers that could facilitate this need as well.
  Oh, and one other thing— a Mission Builder. ShadowRun in the Contacts and Adventures supplement has a set of three tables that a GM can roll on to quickly generate a playable mission in minutes. I really like this feature, because some days, I just don’t have the mental capacity to dream up of somewhere cool, something awesome for my character(s) to play around in!

Maybe there’s a resource out there somewhere that would show me how to combine all these these together to create a custom homebrew— I mean, after all, if I’m solo-playing then other people don’t need to invest in all the resources too, and if I do end up with a entourage of players joining upon my epic adventures throughout Time and Space, then I can just show them the necessary pieces needed for creating their character(s). Alternatively, there’s a game system that describes all of this, closely enough that I can get by with it. I just haven’t found it yet.

Maybe you’ve seen something that’ll help me? If so, please, I’m begging you, let me in on the secret forbidden knowledge! I might bake you some of my not-quite-so-famous chocolate chip cookies. You know, the really soft kind that actually stays soft for days? Yeah, those cookies. And they’re homemade. By me! Yeah, I do other things besides role play! And watch anime. And fix computers. And… fall asleep during the middle of the day…

Maybe it’s not the System?

At the same time, I realize that perhaps it’s not the system that’s the problem. I’ve also been thinking about what character concept I’d like to play. And I’m just as stuck. Nothing sounds interesting. But I desperately want to play!

I’ve thought about rebuilding the character I had an absolute blast playing while roaming around Seattle in ShadowRun, Lindsey— but GURPS style. The cool thing about this character is not only is she totally unhinged and crazy, but she also teleports randomly through time anytime she sneezes. This would be a hilariously interesting concept to play, especially as a solo-game. And I did begin building her, and I slog through learning GURPS 4e. Problem is, right now, I feel that despite spending over 500 build points, she’s still incomplete! And she’s really not all that powerful at all. Just a girl from the future who only has a couple of magical fire attacks and can teleport through time—and she can’t even control where or when it happens (or when she’ll end up!) So perhaps I’m building her incorrectly? (I’m also using the GURPS Character Sheet, a free software resource that greatly assists with character builds.

But then again, I got to thinking about actually playing Lindsey using the medium I’ve chosen—a forum. Is GURPS a reasonably easy system to manage via Play by Post? It’s a pretty crunchy system. So maybe I need to look for a different system? I mean, I could fall back to using Big Eyes Small Mouth. I’m familiar with the system, and it can be narrative enough to work with a forum. I know, I’ve used it for years via forum role play. But even though I know I could build my character, especially by creating the needed Attributes and Defects that she’d need, something doesn’t feel quite right. Something feels off. Lindsey’s a fun character to play, and I feel I need something totally unhinged to release the stress I’m under from all the chaos and the world seemingly is falling apart from within reality. But at the same time, I don’t know if I’m in the correct mindset to pull of her personality correctly.

I’ve thought about putting together a new character concept I’ve been sketching over the past few months, Hikari Amaterasu. A overly optimistic, misfit of a Magical Girl. She’s a fun character too, but … I’m just not feeling it right now. In fact, I’ve got an entire squad of Magical Girls that I could through into a game. But yet, I still desperately want to play a game!

I Don’t Believe It’s the Character’s Fault Either…

I could just be completely burned out, on like everything. All week, while I’m slaving away at work, whenever I have those precious few seconds of idleness, I have sparks of inspiration. Oh! That’d be fun! Yeah! I gotta try that out! But then by the time my weekend comes, I’m totally dead. In fact, lately, I’ve been falling asleep on the way to and from work on the commute home. My doctor and I think it’s because I’m Vitamin D deficient. But I won’t know for certain for like another month while these supplements enter my bloodstream.

Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’ve actually lost hope. It seems that everything has gone to shit fairly rapidly. Everyday, there’s more bad news all around. And it’s not like I can just unplug from the world. People’s rights are being stripped, my very way of life is changing daily, and if I’m not staying on top of all these changes, I could end up in a really bad place. And I’ve gotta swallow a handful of medications periodically throughout the day just to tolerate the now chronic pain I’m in just to do my job. Maybe it’s all just too much. Maybe I just need to escape reality? Maybe I just need to sit down and play a damn game?

Everything I’m attempting seems to be yielding zero results. The JobSearch.exe apparently has crashed or maybe its in a Zombie status. I’m not sure which. Because I know a good portion of my problems is most likely a result of my job. Warehouse work destroys your physical body, and I’ve been doing this for nearly fifteen years now. What I wouldn’t give to have a boring desk job. Ideally, I’d love to work for game studio, or game publishing company maybe? Perhaps I should look into whatever the name of the industry is called that deals specifically with role playing games? Eh, it’s a thought, and I’m rambling. So I’ll close this up with a question: What’s your favorite go-to role playing game?

Play by Post is not a new concept. It’s older than much of the internet and I would argue that people devised ways of playing via snail mail as well as E-mail back in the day.

I administer a form dedicated to role playing, specifically geared for anime role playing, where a person can sign in, and join a world within an anime setting and play a personality dedicated to an anime or manga character. But this forum offers more than just imagination play. It also serves as a hub to discuss anime in general as well as the role playing games that many of the role playing games use mechanically. Lately, I’ve begun branching out and added a Wiki to my forum so that I can write up detailed biographies for anime characters and have quick access to little details that are often forgotten about that would help to enhance either a role play or fan fiction.

The above is what I’m used to when talking about a role playing forum. However, I recently discovered Role Playing Directories. I initially thought that these were just hub for people to advertise their forums dedicated to role playing, and that’s sort of true. Instead of a general purpose forum that has a section dedicated to role playing (as most forums may have), these Role Playing Forums are dedicated to an entire role playing environment. Meaning that the forum itself is used as the imagination playground.

This is a concept that boggles my mind, although, as a creative writer, it really shouldn’t? But I’m having troubles wrapping my mind around such an immense landscape. Where is the order within this chaos? People can just post character interactions anywhere within the forum? This appears to be the case, from the few boards that I glanced at for research into this article.

I’m used to a single board being a large enough place for imagination play. Members take turns posting one after another to build a story. But how does a story get built in a non-linear fashion? More importantly, does anybody actually read the content on these specialty role playing boards? Or is it more like most other places, where you post it and forget it—a troubling trend within the modern day social media era of mega platforms like FaceBook Groups, Reddit, and dare I say, even here on SubStack.

But the idea of using an entire forum as a role playing playground does have some interesting possibilities. You can design the entire forum skin/theme to reflect your vision of the world. A dystopian post-apocalyptic setting for a game might be rendered using a darkly colored theme. A school-type of environment, could be modeled to look like a digital schoolyard, complete with designated areas for disciplined studies. Even the typeface can be customized for an academic feel. People can create multiple accounts, each account would represent a different character— although I would be very tempted to install a blog to use as a character diary for the purpose of growth and advancement, not to mention giving the player the ultimate space to really get into their character’s head and get to know their character(s) with intimate detail. Even the naming conventions for the board titles could follow a theme, such as a military setting could use terms such as Barracks (character profiles), HQ (site announcements), Mission Briefings (plot discussions), Mess Hall (general chit chat), Battle Field: [name] (actual role playing missions), etc.

One other benefit of hosting an entire forum for a role playing game is that there are so many options for software available! There are free packages like Simple Machines Forum (SMF), the software I use, to shiny applications like XenForo (another software I really like), but can’t afford, each with loads of customizable options and extensions, so that you can customize the interactivity feel of your playground.

But probably the biggest benefit of running a dedicated forum for your role playing game is that it’s completely yours. You’re not renting space on somebody else’s platform. If you want to make your game sexually explicit completely unhinged with violent behaviors, you can (a common limitation on most shared platforms)! You have the ultimate control to ban troublesome players, you can set the rules to how you want to play. You can even set up payment/subscription modules (although I don’t think I’ve ever seen a role playing board do this).

Now for the not-so-bright-news. These places are in decline. Services such as Discord have taken over the market share because it’s easier to set up a Discord Server than it is to set up an entire forum. However, this convenience comes at the cost of losing archivability. But then again, as I mentioned above, do people really read the past actions of these fictitious characters anyway? Keeping this in mind, you have to ask yourself and your friends (assuming you’re not like me, and actually have friends) is it worth the time and possible monetary investment to set up a forum? Most of the forums I looked at seem to be running on vapor right now, with minimal participation from people. Perhaps people don’t have the time to commit anymore, or maybe role playing forums have just gone out of style as a fad, kind of like platform shoes, plaid pants, and dare I say, bell bottoms? Sorry to anybody who likes the 70s, but it’s just so easy to pick on the Disco era!

What are your thoughts on this novel use of forum software. Is it too much, like total overkill, or do you like it, and maybe want to explore it? As for me, I’ll just keep my general purpose anime role playing forum, and maybe start up my own game within that space sometime soon.

Would You Like To Play A Game? (Yes or Yes)

For a while, I’ve been working on a creative fiction set in an alternative reality of the world, focusing on a group of elite military magical girl special forces, known as the Magical Girl Misfits. This team of five girls has serious flaws, and it’s a fun and interesting story to immerse myself into. But, lately I’ve found myself staring at a blank page, and I think I know the reason why I haven’t had much success writing this truly awesome story: My characters are lacking definition.

So, in an attempt to create more detailed versions of my protagonists, I’ve decided that I’m going to start a role playing game, set in another alternative reality, but where the characters are all much younger. I need to explore some of their youthful missions and mishaps. So, in this version of the world I’m creating, all the girls are attending a magical academy. I’m basically combining the worlds from the following anime together: Negima! Magister Negi Magi, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, and Tenchi Universe. And while I have no doubt that we’ll probably run into some of the cannon characters from all of these anime shows, as well as others, much of the character cast will be originally created from our collective imaginations.

I’m borrowing specifically from Negima! Magister Negi Magi for the massive school campus and all inclusive academy for the characters to learn and grown within. I’m taking from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha because I love the interpersonal and character development, the vast and complex universe that the setting offers, and the fusion of genres, specifically the Magical Girl and the Science Fiction ones to provide an easy to develop magical system to exploit, I mean use. Finally, I wanted the chaos that Tenchi Universe offers with the expansive galaxy, Jurain Empire and romantically charged plot. Mixing all of these elements together with my main cast of five magical girls and the various misadventures that they will find themselves in should provide for a rich context so that much needed humor can flourish.

I’m also deciding to Keep It Simple, Stupid, by only using the character generation piece of the Big Eyes Small Mouth role playing system to establish a flexible framework of standardized characters. The specific edition of the game doesn’t matter all that much, since the bulk of the character is defined by the Attributes system. I’d rather focus on the story and imaginative creativity of the players instead of game mechanics. This is an experiment, as I’ve had varied results from using full game systems in a Play By Post environment. I’ve had the most success with Free Form styled role play, that pretty much could be considered Multi-Authored Stories, but I wanted a standard format for all the characters. It makes my job as a Game Master easier.

To Be or Not To Be? (is kinda irreverent…)

To play, you’re going to adopt a fictional persona of a Magical Girl (Guys, Theys, and Nays also welcome!) I would prefer originally created characters to enter the game, rather than cannon characters from an already existing anime. However, I know I haven’t see every anime that’s ever been created so, if you’re borrowing the concept of a character for your own nefarious purposes, I won’t mind. Just keep in mind that we may run into cannon characters in our many adventures.

You’ll be entering (some randomly named academy of the magical persuasion). Hopefully your character is between the accepted ages of five through 25, and your specific magical abilities, I’ll leave to your imagination. Just remember that you’re a Misfit, and you’ve probably got some undesirable quirks about your personality, magical talents, or perhaps you’re just a really bad klutz. There’s a reason why you’re in this particular classroom, filled with other eccentric oddballs.

But class is only the beginning of your adventure. You’ve also been drafted, abducted, conscripted, volunteered into the a military special forces brigade, typically reserved for the best, fastest, smartest, overachievers and brown-nosers the Government can choose from. Despite being chosen, you probably believe the reality of your situation is that your specific brigade is merely only meant to serve as a distraction. But that’s not good enough for us! We will prevail as the ultimate champions! (And hopefully not destroy the known Universe while we’re at it. After all, there’s the upcoming School Dance, and we simply can’t miss that! Priorities.)

As a member of this Special Forces Brigade, you’ll go on various training missions, and whether you end up saving the Human Race from some mutant Slime Lord who oozes with perverted distastefulness or not…is well, really not up to you, now is it? You won’t have too much time for homework with all the additional responsibilities that will be piled up on you, but that’s why you’re paying Henry or Bob, Suzy, or Michelle, right? So they can do your homework for you, riiiiight?

Oh, and if you’re unfamiliar with any of the above mentioned anime, have no clue what a Magical Girl even does or looks like, don’t worry. I got you covered! Just imagine your favorite superhero, put him in a pretty skimpy and frilly pink dress with lots of flowing ribbons, and change his hair style to include pigtails, give him a mishmash of Japanese sounding syllables (or not), make up some awesome sounding magical attacks that you’ll end up shouting at the top of your lungs, repeatedly (get strange looks from your dog who will truly believe you’ve lost your mind — even if you don’t have a dog!), and you’re good to go! Oh, and don’t forget about the high-heeled boots that come up to the knees. These are super important. Or, you could just use Google to research Sailor Moon.

Does this dress make me look fat?

I’m looking for individuals who enjoy writing, who like anime and manga, and aren’t afraid to cross lines (all in good fun). I want humor, I don’t care if it’s dirty, or dare I say naughty. This is set in an anime setting, so throw all the tropes you can think of at our imaginary audience! I’m hoping there will be a minimum post frequency of weekly, however, I’m also allowing members to have multiple characters to exploit, I mean, to play with, that doesn’t sound right either! To run around as in this virtual space.

If this sounds like this could be you, and are interested in signing up, feel free to head over to the forum and register for an account. You’ll need an invitation key, so you might want to reach out to me personally first via Direct Message here. Just say, YO! I NEED A KEY!, or something to that effect. I believe the key is good for 15 days? I’m not really sure, because I’ve just recently implemented this after my last forum was overrun by spam-bots — which is why the place looks like it’s either pathetically lonely or haunted. I’m not sure which. In any case, you can click on the button below to go directly to my digital home away from home. (I promise, I picked up most of the trash before I came over here!)

Anime Role Play

By the way, if you find my personality soothing, funny, or silly, Hi, I’m Kaitlyn, and I’m in desperate need of friends (because I’m unofficially batshit crazy and probably scared everybody who’s sane away)! It’s nice to meet you, and I hope that we can have a blast together, creating mayhem and chaos all over the Interwebz (or at least on my own corner of it).

Many years ago, like two decades ago…okay, September 18, 2006 at 09:05, I wrote the following. I stumbled onto this much needed bit of laughter for another project I’m working on, and I’ve got some thoughts.

Rachel stared at the blinking cursor as it awaited the password. She was dumbfounded. Nothing she tried seemed to unlock this computer. She was about to give up when her eye drifted towards the scribbled note.

"It couldn't be that simple....Could it?", she said to her self. Slowly, key by key she typed in the password Destination:, with a capitol D and pressed the Enter key.

Access Granted.

Flashed up on the screen.

"OMG! YAY! I DID IT!", she exclaimed jumping up and and down. She was so excited that she knocked over the chair that she was sitting on .

The screen loaded with a file inventory of the hard drive contents, along with a few overlapping windows with text documents opened up, displaying technical information about some of the crate contents. There was also a window (that was buried all for but the top left corner) that had opened up describing assembly instructions for something called the Christaline Remote Access Mount Point System (or CRAMPS for short -- as the Air Force does to all excessively long names.) as well as another device called Portable Multi-function Scanner (or PMS) that is used in conjunction with CRAMPS.

I remember writing this post in an online role playing game I participated in. It was a free-form game, meaning we didn’t have any established characters sheets, game mechanics or any of that. This was nothing more than a multi-authored story in a fictional world that I had once upon a time created. I believe the setting revolved around middle-school to high-school teenagers who get abducted conscripted into a secret military program.

As I read through this ancient writing (anything on the Internet that’s older than six months is automatically considered ancient, by the way), I felt a pang of emotional emptiness, almost like a pain that ached throughout my entire body. That last sentence in the above quote, nearly caused me to spit out my tea because of the spontaneous laughter. Laughter that I had once written. I created that entire sentence. Those acronyms. I miss having the ability to write in this way. Sure, I’ve attempted to rekindle the flames of my imagination, but lately it’s been like … flat. I’m sure while I was writing this piece, I took a few minutes to compile the acronym for CRAMPS and PMS, but that’s the issue I’m staring at right now. I can’t seem to do that anymore. In the recent past, I’ve had to rely up on ChatGPT to assist me with bizarre acronyms. It’s almost like if my mind were a sponge, and water is creativity, my mind feels dry— damp at best. Certainly not moist. (Even with the significantly lackluster attempt here.)

I know today has been a rough day for me. I began the day fine, but then I read an article about extreme burnout. I resonated with so many of the symptoms that I was reading that I ended up crying a good cry after I was done reading this lengthy article. I cried several more times throughout the day. Eight times. And I still don’t think I’m finished. I feel nauseous. I cringe at the thought of waking up tomorrow morning to just go in to work. And the only thing I do is go on high alert mode to listen to key words and run to assist cashiers. Maybe turn a key 15,000 times during the day, and quite possibly get chastised by a customer.

I’m processing the emotional toll living a life in America has given me. Everything from my years in the military to serving time in prison, to being released into a post-Covid hellscape. I’ve barely given myself time to repair the damage that I’ve given myself. And now with all the financial hardship my partner and I are facing, I think it’s finally hitting my core. I’m reaching the point to where I don’t believe I can carry on. To at least put one foot in front of the other. Something’s gotta give.

I know I need a different job. Something that certainly pays more than $16.80 an hour. Preferably a desk job. Definitely something away from customers? Something that’s low stress…. does that even exist in Late Stage Capitalism? But customer service is like the only thing I really know. I’ve been doing it for over 30 years now. I’d like to think that I’m decent at it. But I could just be biased.

Anyway, back to the point of this article. I’m really wanting to get my old ability to just craft weirdness by the seat of my pants again. And I think to do that I need to de-stress. Back in 2006 when I wrote this post, I was surrounded by virtual friends. There were a good five or six people who were participating in this role playing game. I need to connect to a community again. But, I don’t want to submerge people into all the trauma dumping I’ve needed to do for so long. I’m truly sorry that you’re reading all of this ventilation. This article became a bit too bloggy than what I originally intended, but I guess I need to get this off my chest. Beyond just up and quitting my job to de-stress, I need to find a method of releasing it so that I can claim my creativity back! Does anybody in the Void have any advice? Please?

"Mission Briefing in five minutes, in the Ready Room. Five minutes.", an announcement came from overhead.

People filled the hallways going in various places, in both directions. Some moved faster than others. Most of the people were dressed in black uniforms, a few were in a greenish-tan looking uniform and carried large rifles slung over their shoulders. (The view slowly focuses in on one man in particular, traveling down the hallway from behind, dressed in black, wearing a matching back back pack.) As he enters a large room filled with concert seating and a large hologram projection system in the front of the room, he is greeted by his peers.

"Tashika! Hey man, I heard you just got back from one of those Level A missions. Tell me...is the rumor true?", a bald dark colored man said as he did a quick slap-hand shake with Tashika. He gave a nervous laugh in response, "Yeah, I was captured....", he paused for a moment as a flashback played through his mind, and quickly finished the dialog, "but at least I made it back here in one piece.", Tashika said in a rushed manor.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be granted Leave or som'thin'?", the bald man persisted.

"Yeah, but I declined it. If ya haven't noticed, we're a little short staffed around here, and .. well, you know me -- I can't stand to miss a good fight!", he finished with a chuckle taking his seat.

"Oh, yeah, can't forget that, old dog -- listen I've gotta take my seat up in back, so I'll catch ya around, alright?"

"Yeah, no problem. See ya out there .", Tashika responded.

He took a few seconds to organize his things. He pulled out a small data computer out of his back pack that he always carried, flipped it on and configured it so that he attached to the internal network of the facility. Now he could record the entire mission briefing and organize it's content into a searchable database for later. Usually when the C.O (commanding officer) calls these meetings, there's something big that's going to happen, with lots of little subtleties.)

"TENCH HUT!", and order barked from the door entrance. With a quick movement, the entire room stood up, snapped their heels together and stood perfectly straight up, facing straight ahead, arms pinned to their sides. A man silver haired man dressed in all black, with several medals of sparkling silver entered the room with slow stride. As he took the front podium he commented not looking upwards, "At ease.". The entire room of combat hardened soldiers took their seats quietly.

A hologram map of the galaxy formed in the front of the room, in full three-dimensions. It slowly zoomed into a specific part of the galaxy, causing stars to whiz by many of the pilots in the room. As it was finishing, it began to print text with reference arrows pointing to key things of interest. The commander began the briefing.

"Gentlemen. I am pleased to report that after your last research Op, we've discovered that Admiral Yeen has made several critical errors while positioning his fleet of Imperial war birds. He's left himself completely exposed from this flank over here (the map coordinated with the timing of the C.O's speech, and rotated the map to left side of the fleet of vessels. On one end there was a Nav-buoy marked "N7-DC-45", and at the other end (the direction the fleet was moving towards) was another buoy marked "M2-29-394". There was one other Nav-buoy displayed and highlighted on the screen marked, "N7-39-A8", and a path line formed from this buoy, which headed towards the Imperial fleet, cutting off their arrival at the other Buoy (M2-...).

"You mission is to hit this fleet hard and fast. Flank these Command Ships on the right and draw their fire as our Second Wave force comes in from behind them using Buoy "N7". Our mission is to cripple this shipment of advanced fighter craft and food-things from being delivered. Expect this fleet to be lightly armed, as their escort craft are currently lacking behind the fleet at least by ten minutes. Intel has reported that their next generation hyperdrive systems aboard their advanced fighter craft are prone to overheating while travailing through hyperspace for extended periods of time. A short cool-off period is required before they may enter hyperspace again. Fortunately for us, they have no way of knowing their escorts have fallen behind between hyper jumps, and this opportunity is good to pass up. You will depart immediately after this briefing, to report to your assigned craft. Any questions?", the CO finished.

"Yes sir.", Tashika stood up and addressed the CO.

"Yes?", the CO responded.

"Approximately how much time will he have to perform this mission?", Tashika sat down.

"You will have approximately 10...maybe 15 minutes before the escort fighters catch up to the fleet. I should also point out that your standard weapons configuration has been modified. I've had Ion Cannons installed on the fighter craft as well as special high yield Proton Torpedoes added to your weapon manifest. It's your job to take out those capital ships so that we may come in from behind and do the damage to this massive transport fleet. Dismissed.", he said solidly.

With that many shuffling began, pilots jogged from the briefing room to the hangar bay. Tashiko quickly packed up and also headed towards his ship. Upon entering the hanger bay, he was directed towards his spot, which wasn't too far from the entrance door. It looked like a standard X-Wing, only with two mounted heavy cannons mounted to the sides of the cockpit. Also along the bottom there was an additional weapon launcher attached next to the conventional launchers. Tashka climbed up the ladder and entered his cockpit, a mechanic was performing the final checks while he strapped himself in.

"Hey, will this bird be able to get off the ground with all this ordinance?", Tashka half joked with the guy.

"Yeah, it might be a little heavy, but nothing you can't handle for sure, sir. Good luck, sir!", the mechanic gave his salute and gave his thumbs up. Meanwhile Tashika heard on his transmitter, "Red-Seven, cleared for take off. Platform 2-D".

"Acknowledged.", Tashika responded clearly into the microphone, as he powered up his ship, which began to levitate. Slowly he rotated about ninety degrees to the right and slowly moved forwards. When the indicator light turned a bright green in front of him, he gave it full throttle, and slowly (more slowly than normal), ascended into the atmosphere.

"Wow, this is heavier", he said as he leveled off his ascent to prevent a stall out. He pushed a button on his front console. The small window terminal in front of him displayed the following:

Weapons Check:
* Laser Cannon (4) OK
* Ion Cannon (2) OK
* Concussion Missile (16) OK
* Proton Torpedo (6) OK
* Nuclear-Plasma Rocket (4) OK


"What the heck is a Nuclear-Plasma Rocket?", Kamado said to himself, as he entered in the coordinates for the hyperspace jump:
N7-39-A8
* HyperJump Coordinates Validated. Stand By for Jump...

A few seconds later the stars in the field in front of him skewed backwards and whizzed past him in a brilliant rainbowish effect. A few minutes later he emerged from Hyperspace...

Perhaps I should tell you about myself, in the context of the gaming realm. After all, if you’re going to be reading about the role playing content I plan on creating, you should know that I do happen to have some experience to go along with the articles that you’re reading. And to describe my experiences shall we use something typically reserved for employment? How about a Role Playing Resume?

Granted, while I can’t generate a multiple column format that I’d prefer to use to keep the information tidy, I will use a more bland vertical arrangement.

Finally, keep in mind that this is probably not all of my experience. I’ve omitted games that failed to take off, fizzled out for one reason or another, or were just bad ideas in general.

Summary:

An experienced game master and hoarder of digital role playing systems, software and other various assets. Has participated in face to face via table top role playing, and play by post style role playing with over 30 years of playing experience using a variety of systems.

Purchased Games:

ALONe, Anime 5e, Anime Action, Anime Campaign, Big Eyes Small Mouth (1-4, d20), Cities Without Numbers, Dungeon's & Dragons (3.5), Exalted, FATE (Core, Accelerated), Freeform Universal, Girl By Moonlight, Glitter Hearts, GURPS (5), HERO (6), iXe, Lasers and Feelings, Love and Justice, Madoka, Magical Burst (4, 5), Magical Fury, MAID, OVA, Scion, Shadow Run (4), Space Master, Sparks of Light, Stars Without Numbers, Toon

Playing Experience:

2020 - Present: ““, None

Yeah, I’ve attempted to start many games on various platforms, however, that doesn’t work so well when you have no friends to play with. Sure, there’s always the Solo option, but I haven’t quite gotten the hang of that just yet, and I miss the chaotic interactions between the other players throwing my plans under a bus whenever possible. I’m hoping that by starting this publication, that I’ll meet some people who would welcome an old dog with uncanny ideas to the table.

2018 - 2020 ““, Shadow Run 4e

Lindsey Shadowbane, 23, Unarmed combat covert ops assassin and Heavy Weapons Specialist. She had the most screwed up psychological issues I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Lindsey suffered from a rare condition called Neoteny, a genetic mutation that causes the body to stop age prior to the onset of puberty. As a result, she was a very uncouth girl and had a large attitude to make up for her short stature. She was the victim of several corporate modifications, which turned her into a lethal asset, under the primary care of Ares Corporation. To further complicate her life, she also sported something called Mood Hair. Another unusual condition that caused her hair follicles to change color based on the emotional reaction she currently experienced. With years of mental conditioning, to include the humiliation and physical beatings that she endured, she had nearly mastered how to stay neutral under most conditions. And if her raven hair ever changed color? Here’s one word of advice: Hide.

She was a fun character to explore, in fact, one of my most memorable experiences was Zero Mission. To play-test our new characters in this new game system, we ran a short adventure of robbing a bank. Lindsey was stationed outside in the parking lot to provide cover, and to keep an eye out for trouble. Wouldn’t you know that trouble started almost immediately. A silent alarm was tripped and Lindsey was told to “get in here, now!”. Mind you, she had a Gatling gun mounted to the van the team drove. She aimed at the glass windows, where there were a majority of the patrons trying to flee from the ensuing chaos inside the building and opened fire, resulting in the slaughter of more than 20 innocent people in the process. But she was able to walk in without much trouble. She was a true badass. (Later we discovered that she should have had to pass a Composure Test, but being the eager bunch of geeks to play, we must have missed that on page SR4-138. Note, in hindsight, she would have utterly failed that check.) But you have to admit that it was pretty cool to do as much damage as she did, and I was able to pull off the Uncouthness of the character without too much issue, unlike how I am in real life. I also enjoyed this character because this was during a time when I was discovering what Asexuality was, and it was refreshing not to have the romantic undertones to complicate the character with.

2014 - 2018 “Bubble Pop Paradox”, Big Eyes Small Mouth 3e

Fate Testarossa, 13, Enforcer-in-training, Magical Girl, Space-Time Administration Bureau (Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A’s+). This was a game where I was the Game Master, and the Third Edition of Big Eyes, Small Mouth continues to be a favorite of mine. This campaign was set in my old high school, and each classroom was home to a different anime dimension. Meaning that each dimension was an alternate version of Earth where other anime worlds resided. One room may have hosted Tenchi Muyo, another Sailor Moon, yet another room may have had Pokemon. But as the game progressed, we added other realms from fiction, to include Fraggle Rock, The Jetsons, and even Sesame Street, just to name a few. After we would complete an adventure in one of the dimensions, it would pop, and thus be shattered, for us to never return again. Fear not, there were well over 300 worlds to explore, and many fictional friends were made during our questing. Unfortunately, we never were able to leave that cursed school. Life happened, and the game sort of fell apart.

This game was interesting because we explored playing multiple characters at the same time. We really did goof around a lot, and had fun experimenting within the realm of fantasy.

2010 - 2012 “Sparks!”, Big Eyes Small Mouth 3e

Katelynn (28) and Cassandra (25) were friends in this game and were amongst some of the newest special abilities teachers at this school for the enchanted. This was a game that was hosted online and a group of three of us played by post for the first time using the full game system in an online setting. We figured out how to resolve dice rolls and god-modding fairly well by the end of that game. Although there were some rather uncomfortable topics that came to light, I got to experience how to resolve a couple different forms of harassment that may happen when gaming online. Needless to say, it was a brave new world back then.

2009 - 2010 “Destiny’s Fear: Revisited”, Big Eyes Small Mouth 2e / Freeform

Kamado Tashiko, 30, starred in a lead role in this crossover among Tenchi Universe and Star Wars, with a bit of Gender Bender fun thrown in. Whenever he drank alcohol, he changed forms into a girl, and of course, as an innocent looking female, the rest of the crew kept any alcohol away from her at all costs. Nothing was more humiliating than to be a Fighter Pilot but in a ridiculous disguise that you couldn’t get out of. I had quite a bit of fun with this character, despite the game being such a short lived game. I’m tempted to resurrect it from the grave, but first I need some pretty open minded friends to play with. The Internet has changed in the last 15 years.

2005 - 2009 “Destiny’s Fear”, Freeform

Destiny’s Fear will always hold a special place in my heart, because it was the first game I Game Mastered, and it was also the first role playing game I played while online using a Play by Post format. Set in the world of Tenchi Universe, I played a bastardized version of Princess Ayeka. This is also when I began exploring my sarcastic and twisted sense of humor. This game ran fairly successfully, despite me not having a clue as to what I was doing. About halfway through the game, I stumbled onto Big Eyes Small Mouth Revised Second Edition, and attempted to retrofit the characters into using that system. It kind of worked, but mostly, no. But I did learn quite a bit about role playing online.

I’ll forever remember this game because the characters ended up so over powered that we collectively nearly destroyed the fabric of Space-Time, thus ending the game because we reached an impasse. I’ll never forget all the friends whom I met on that forum and during that role playing adventure. And I’ve attempted to recreate the experience on more than one occasion, but the Internet Forum has become an ancient relic of a time long since gone in the Age of Facebook and other more dedicated role playing platforms.

2001 - 2005 [Forgotten Campaign Name], Role Master RMSS

Despite playing this game for nearly four years, I had completely forgotten the name of this character. I do remember that she was a fairy creature that used Essence Magic (nature based and the four elements). And while I’ve realized during this time that High Fantasy can be fun, it’s not really my cup of tea.

1994 [Unknown Campaign Name], [Unknown System]

I remember that the setting was in a high school, and that our locker was on the other side of the school from our classes. This was a fairly shortly lived game because of other drama that occurred but it was still quite fun, because this was my first time playing the opposite gender, and I loved it! Ever since, I would insist on playing female characters, because there’s a special kind of magic associated with it for me.

1993 [Unknown Campaign Name], Starwars d6

Yet another character I don’t recall his name. This was my introduction into the world of role playing, and I do remember having a blast, playing as an X-Wing pilot with some buried Jedi talents. Unfortunately, the school year ended and the game was abandoned. Someday, I may revisit Star Wars, officially, but in any case, the setting is fantastic for creative endeavors.

Let’s take a look at one of my favorite role playing games of all time: Big Eyes, Small Mouth. Originally, this game was published by the company Guardians of Order, written by Mark Mackinnon in 1997, however, in 2008, the company fell prey to a combination of poor business choices and the U.S. Housing market collapse which rippled internationally and caused the company to declare bankruptcy. Today Mark has build a new company, learning the error of his previous mistakes, forming the new company Dyskami, and features all four versions of his unique TriStat gaming model once again.

BESM, as it’s often shortened to, is one of a small collection of games that focuses on anime characters and settings. You know, anime, that Japanese animation stuff featuring characters with huge eyes, girls who sport just as large busts and wild hair colors with obnoxious personalities. Surely, you’ve heard of Sailor Moon, or Vampire Hunter D, right? Pokemon, or Naruto? Anyway, there are other game systems that also cater to the Otaku, anime geek/nerd/fan. And for good reason. Anime is one of the few types of fiction that encourages exaggeration. In fact, it’s because of the use of exaggeration that makes playing a character in such a chaotic setting so much fun. I mean, come on, who doesn’t want to kick that perverted old creeper hitting on high school girls in the Deez Nutz hard enough to send him flying into the next neighborhood. Anyway, it’s tempting to just say that anime is just another setting or genre, but actually that’s not quite accurate. Because anime often falls into different genres. After all, anime is simply style, usually an illustration, however, because of the content that has been written for it, nearly exclusively, it also has a fictional style as well. Nevertheless, this also extends into the realm of role playing, and BESM is perfectly suited for recreating our beloved anime characters to explore these truly insane worlds.

Read more

I would like to officially open the doors to my new Role Playing Review Newsletter. Please find a comfy chair, move (with the help of friends, we don’t want you throwing your back out) to a freshly cleaned table, and get ready to spark your imagination!

I came up with this idea this morning. I wanted a separate space to discuss role playing games, specifically those games that I feel aren’t given enough attention. There are other groups of people out in the world who do talk about these underdogs of games, I can probably find such a group on each major social media platform, and there may in fact be some others right here on SubStack. But I wanted to breathe some life into these games, not just to discuss the mechanical aspects or to give a dry review of the play style of any particular game. I want to have the ability to show each game some personal love. Here, every game that is showcased, I’ve purchased. I’m going to take time out of my day and read about these games, directly from the source rule books, even if it’s only a single paragraph or page at a time. Once I understand the game, I’m going to give a solo adventure a shot. I want to try these games out. I want to feel how crunchy the system is. How does combat flow? Is character creation flexible enough to allow me to create the types of characters I dream of, or are the rules too light and loose for my style?

I feel that the world of role playing is often summarized as Dungeon’s & Dragons. And perhaps even dismissed as all high fantasy. After all, the majority of new players come into the hobby of role playing through D&D. I can’t help but to sometimes feel frustration seeing new and veteran players alike struggle trying to shoehorn a genre or character concept into the lore of D&D. Yes, there is a place for this masterpiece of a game, but also realize that there are more options available to scratch that specific unreachable itch. My goal is to shed light onto these gems, and to allow them to gleam brightly.

Once this publication becomes more established, I hope to open up a virtual table at some point. Let’s try some of these games! Part of the mission of this newsletter is to break down the mechanics and rules of the game. I mean, I purchase these games, I don’t want to feel as though I’ve just wasted my money. It breaks my heart to know that several of the games I’ve been excited to try at one point or another simply sit on my hard drive, collecting dust within the confines of a digital dungeon resting in my pocket. Let’s change that! Besides, I think we can all use some like-minded friends.

Share Critical Chaos: The Adventurer's Almanac

But this publication has so much more potential than just something informative. I also wish to host character concepts, with instructions on how to build specific ideas in a variety of different systems. I also plan on having a space for campaign ideas. And if you know anything about me from my other publication, you’ll know that I love to mix and mash things up with crossovers.

One final thing I’m considering is adding a section to act as an archive of actual game sessions. I want to show new players some of the ways that we can role play! Granted, these will be textual descriptions rather than a video you might find on other social media, however, I feel that I can accurately capture the feel of the table top environment with my typing. And besides, we’ll want to spice things up from boring old reviews anyway, right?

I welcome anybody’s critisim and/or critiques that you may have regarding this publication. So, please feel free to leave a comment letting me know how you feel about my endeavor. Thank you!

Leave a comment